


Just Please

by Clives



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Angry Tyler Joseph, Angst, M/M, Sad, Sad Ending, Sad Tyler Joseph, Self-Harm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-21
Updated: 2017-11-21
Packaged: 2019-02-05 04:24:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,203
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12786906
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Clives/pseuds/Clives
Summary: Tyler sat on the top of his bed, his back hunched as the pen between his fingers taps monotonically onto the notebook placed on his lap. His eyes were dull and empty, went unfocused a little while ago while his mind swims somewhere else nobody knows where.“It’s not healthy to think that hard” a voice appeared in the quiet of the room, a cheeky grin formed in his tone.“Shut up”





	Just Please

It was just another ordinary day. Tyler sat on the top of his bed, his back hunched as the pen between his fingers taps monotonically onto the notebook placed on his lap. His eyes were dull and empty, went unfocused a little while ago while his mind swims somewhere else nobody knows where. He surely won’t write anything in a little while.  
  
“It’s not healthy to think that hard” a voice appeared in the quiet of the room, a cheeky grin formed in his tone. “Loosen up a little bit”  
  
“Shut up” Tyler snapped as he spared his eyes on the boy that is standing on the corner of his room. Then, he went straight back into his notebook, thinking to himself all over again.  
  
“What’s with all these trash, anyway?” he looked around the place. It has not been pleasant, he can sure tell you that. The bed was unmade, left messy with the sheets tangling on the edge of it. There are dirty clothes, empty takeout boxes, and energy drink cans everywhere. It was on the bed, on the floor, even on the top of the desk. Not to mention that there are numerous balls of papers containing rejected ideas and writings scattered on the carpeted room. It pictures perfectly of the state Tyler is in now, which is a mess.  
  
“Come on Ty, you’ve been crammed here for far too long,” the boy said as he walked closer to his direction. In the corner of his eyes, he could see his blazing red hair, which was probably the brightest thing in the dim room. “Maybe you should go outside, take a walk and-”  
  
“Don’t call me Ty” he hissed. The sharpness of his eyes withdrew the spark in the other boy’s orbs. His smile faded into a shocked frown, “don’t”  
  
“Sorry” he mumbled, stuffing his hands into the pockets of his ripped jeans. “You know you can talk to me right?”  
  
Tyler didn’t answer. He was back staring at the empty paper on his lap while clicking his pen as though the red-haired boy isn’t there. He threw his notebook away, sighing and burrowed himself under the dirty covers where he found himself falling asleep in a matter of seconds.

\---

“Your mom’s worried about you” the boy looked out the window as it blasted bright natural lights of the outside world. Tyler was still on his bed, his head rested against the pillow. His eyes were closed as he absorbed the light of the sun. Not that he is sleeping, but it’s just a thing he did a lot these days. The bright-haired boy traced his fingers on the glass, seeking for an answer. “Probably should call her”  
  
Tyler didn’t even bother lifting his eyelids.  
  
“You can’t keep going on like this” he whined, worry filled every word he uttered. “I can help you”  
  
No answer. It’s like Tyler don’t even hear what he said.  
  
“Why won’t you talk to me?” he asked, desperately. “Tyler, we are supposed to tell each other anything and everything! No secrets! Remember that?”  
  
“I told you to shut up!” Tyler suddenly shot up and threw a pillow at him, angrily. It didn’t hit him, but if it did then that mostly is going to hurt seeing how fuming Tyler looks. He decided to step back, looking back to the window in defeat. The brown-haired boy lies back down on the bed, covering his face away with a pillow. His chest falls and rises quicker than usual, “Go away. I don’ t want to talk or hear you talk ever again”  
  
The boy frowns and shuts the curtains, shielding them from the light of the day. He moved towards the door, standing to watch the boy go back to sleep, then leave himself.

\---

He scribbles again. Writing down every word to word that kept getting scrapped and thrown away in a form of a mushed ball to the floor. His hands moved quicker than his brain, emotions filling him up with rage. He can’t get anything right, the words he wrote didn’t come out with the way he wanted it to. Tyler moved his weary eyes to the piano keys in front of him. The black grand piano is not as interesting as the first time Tyler had it. It’s not because of the instrument, no. The thing is still shining as if they were bought yesterday, so unfitting to be in his room.  
  
“Tyler?” called that boy again, stood beside his piano, concern filling both of his brown eyes. Tyler gently touched his finger on one of the keys, didn’t bother to press it.  
  
“You can’t keep ignoring me” the boy whined, his hand grips on the edge of the instrument. “I know it’s hard, but-“  
  
“Shut it” Tyler whispered, a sheer of annoyance was shown on his face.  
  
“No. I won’t shut up this time, Tyler. Because-“  
  
“Shut up!” Tyler screamed, slamming his hands on the piano. The boy flinched at the sound it resulted. “I don't need you to talk it out because you're not real! You're not real and you're not supposed to be here!"  
  
“What are you talking about?” he asked, shocked.  
  
“Go away, Josh!” he pointed on the door, his face was red with all the fury consuming him. “Leave me alone!”  
  
“Tyler, I _am _real”__  
  
“Leave!” Tyler slammed the keys once again, not caring the damage that's done to his dearest piano.  
  
The red-haired boy, Josh, hung his head low and left the room without any words. Tyler was left alone again.  
  
\---  
  
"Where are you going?" he asked, head poking from behind the walls.  
  
"Out," he said, shortly. His eyes still fixating on his shoelaces, tying them as tidy as possible. He was dressed nice and clean, unlike any other day he went on.  
  
"For the first time in five weeks?"  
  
He rolled his eyes and walked past the door like Josh isn't there, slamming the door behind him.  
  
\---  
  
"Tyler!" He heard his yell echoing through the walls. That yell of his name is almost all that he’s been hearing recently. Tyler this, Tyler that, he crumbled onto the floor, hugging his knees. The boy with the red hair took the razor out of his grasp and flushed it down on the toilet. He holds the tiny frame around his arms, and oh God, it felt so real. Tyler cried for the first time in months, he's so afraid of letting go.  
  
"It's okay... Everything's gonna be okay" he rocked him back and forth, hugging him tightly. "I promise"  
  
He didn’t let go until Tyler calmed down completely. Josh washed away the blood and bandaged all the cuts along with the opened scars. He was so soft and gentle when he tucked Tyler into the bed and lay beside him. Tyler had never felt this safe in months.

\----  
  
Tyler walks into the overly familiar place. White floor, white walls, white door, white everything accompanied with strong bright lights and sterile antiseptic smell. His feet stopped and turned to a door on the left side of the long corridor, sighing before he entered the room. The first thing that welcomed him was beeping noises and more whites. Otherwise, it is rather quiet. Just as always.  
  
Sitting on the nearest chair to the bed, Tyler looked at the person who laid there. The person with long wild brown hair, eyes closed too peacefully. He would’ve mistaken him for just sleeping or napping if there’s no tube stuck in his mouth, connected to a machine beside the bed. Tyler reached for his cold hand and held it in his grasp.  
  
"Hey," he said, "it's been a while, Josh"  
  
No response. Of course. The machine beside him beeps again, reminding him of how quiet the room was. Once he wished the hand that he’s holding is going to hold back, maybe move, or anything. Yet, there’s nothing. For three months there is nothing but the movements of his chest, going up and down in a steady rhythm. At some point, he stopped wishing and started hoping.  
  
"I heard about it" he opened the lonely conversation. He took a deep breath, his eyes started hurting and it's getting hard to breathe, he held the hand tighter. "I'm sorry, Josh.  
  
It's hard for me... I.. I've been seeing things again... But this time I can't stop it, I just can't. I know I'm not supposed to listen, I know I'm supposed to fight it, but how I'm going to do it without you? How I'm going to do that when what I see is you?"  
  
Tyler let out a shaky breath, tears welling up in the corners of his eyes. "I relapsed again. I’m sorry. I know you’ll be so mad and disappointed in me, I just can’t control it. Please wake up, Josh. Wake up and yell at me, hate me, anything. But I’m begging you for the last fucking time, **wake up** ”  
  
"I need you, Josh" he whispered, desperately, holding tight the cold hand that will never hold him back.  
  
"Don't cry" a voice appeared from across the bed, and oh Tyler knew them too well. "It's heartbreaking to see you cry"  
  
Tyler didn't say anything, he doesn't wanna look either.  
  
The fresh red-haired boy looked at the pale, wild brown haired on the bed. The look on his face describes pity and sadness, "it's not your fault, Ty"  
  
"Of course it is" he replied, he circled his thumb on Josh’s hand, seeking for comfort.  
  
That night... Oh, he wished he could turn it back.

 It was their date night. They were supposed to have a dinner at their favorite restaurant. The place where they met and talked the most. It had been a special place that they visit quite often in their relationship.  
  
Tyler was half late, like always. He saw Josh with a nice black tuxedo tucked with a flower on the left pocket across the street, looking nice with a bouquet of roses held in his right hand. Josh saw him too, giving him a small smile and waved.  
  
The dark haired was too excited at that time, too careless to look left and right before crossing the street. He didn’t even notice the lights had turned green when he crossed over and he obviously didn’t realize the truck that was speeding on his way.  
  
He heard yelling, didn't understand what was happening. But suddenly there were bright lights and he felt something pushed him to the side of the road. When he opened his eyes again to adjust to the situation, he was safe and the truck passed like nothing happened.  
  
The next thing he heard was screaming and he was sure he never screamed that loud in his entire life.  
  
That was the last time he saw Josh's eyes. The last time he saw him, awake.  
  
"He was going to propose to me" Tyler sobbed, "and I ruined everything"  
  
"Tyler, you know that Josh doesn't want you to feel like this," he said, looking at him straight in the eye, "this isn't your fault, it was an accident"

"Josh" he looked up to the 'Josh' across the bed. Eyes widened, "you said Josh"  
  
"Yes," he nodded.  
  
"All this time... You were pretending to be real, and now you're not?"  
  
The boy sighed, "it's not me, Tyler. It's you. You're the one who wanted me to be real. Now, it's time. You have choices to pick, a decision to be made"  
  
Tyler looked back to the hand he's holding, tears slips and fall to the sheets. The shadow in front of him disappears, and he’s left alone all over again.

\---

The sky got a brighter shades of blue from what he had remembered.

It was the morning after Josh's funeral. He had found the park he and Josh used to went, a set of yellow swings were placed in the center of the area. He used to sit there with him, joking about how their legs were so bent because of the short distance between the swings to the ground.  
  
"Are you going to leave?" he asked, the boy swings lightly beside him, his legs were also too long for it.  
  
"Only if you wanted me to" he looked at Tyler, then up to the sky. "Are you?"  
  
He shrugged, gripping the chains beside his head tighter as he looked down to the dusty dirt.  
  
"He loved you," he said, "and he wanted you to know that it's not anyone's fault that it happened"

"I know, you told me that"  
  
"No, you told yourself that" he spoke, and both didn't open their mouths for good minutes. Just silence accompanied by the sound of the wind.  
  
"I'm leaving" Tyler got up from the swing, putting his hands inside of his pockets. He stepped away.  
  
"You know what Josh wants from you, right?" he asked.  
  
"Yeah, I know" he nodded but didn’t turn. He heard a good response of ‘always keep that in mind' in his ears, but it's coming from nowhere, nowhere but his own head. He stopped and looked back behind him, where the yellow swings were placed, creaked by the blow of the wind.  
  
He was gone.

**Author's Note:**

> Been meaning to post this for a while. Anyway, this is my first fic and I hope you like it.  
> Sorry for grammar mistakes. I suck at english :(


End file.
